1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,100
It's the weed capital of the world.

2
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:03,780
I guess I said, huh?

3
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,560
Yeah.

4
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:11,020
You're right. Can you imagine what would
happen if we did get caught?

5
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:12,560
It would have been mayhem.

6
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,940
So we got to Amsterdam without getting
into trouble, which was a first for

7
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,800
Kumar. I'm telling you, we could have
smoked on the plane. Nothing would have

8
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:31,800
happened. Whatever.

9
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,440
It was like a whole new adventure all
over again.

10
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,540
Only this time our quest wasn't about
burgers. It was about love.

11
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:40,780
And weed and horse. Kumar. What?

12
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:49,780
The moment we saw the city, it was like
we died and went to heaven.

13
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,280
Amsterdam is the weed capital of the
world.

14
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So much weed.

15
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Generous.

16
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It is a perfect society.

17
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After seeing the movie Hospital on the
plane ride over, we decided to check

18
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a five -star hotel where nobody gets
killed.

19
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Not a currency.

20
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After we checked in, we went into the
city in search of my true love.

21
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Maria. I tricked off to her before.
Don't say that.

22
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:26,360
What's her clan? I don't want to fight
with you.

23
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,220
Unfortunately, I had no idea how to find
her.

24
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After spending the whole day looking for
her, I was about to call it quits.

25
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But then, there she was.

26
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She's fucking hot.

27
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She looks so beautiful.

28
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We didn't have to say much. It was clear
we were meant to be together.

29
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,059
Yeah, get in there.

30
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:55,060
Yeah, get in there.

31
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I know I got a trouble.

32
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,840
Thanks, Kumar.

33
00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:12,160
It didn't take long for the two of us to
rekindle our passion.

34
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,540
After a couple of kisses, Maria and I
became inseparable.

35
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:17,820
Yeah, tell me about it.

36
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How dare you?

37
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I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided
to get out and explore the city on my

38
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own.

39
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As I walked around Amsterdam, I realized
just how insignificant and miserable my

40
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life was.

41
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,860
I needed some kind of human contact, so
I went over to the red light district.

42
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This whore was weird.

43
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She had enormous jaws.

44
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Looking at all the whores there made me
think about my ex -girlfriend.

45
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:04,370
How could she marry that douche? Didn't
she still love me?

46
00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:18,890
Whatever, there was nothing I could do
except find the filthiest whore in the

47
00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:20,850
district and destroy her with my
thundercock.

48
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,820
Unfortunately, the dollar isn't as
strong as it used to be, and I only had

49
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,760
enough money to finger bang her while
she jerked me off.

50
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:32,120
She only charged me 50 euros, but it
wasn't worth it. My soul felt empty, my

51
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,260
pubes itched, and my fingers smelled
like sweat from a horse's vagina.

52
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:37,420
Needless to say, I was miserable.

53
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,420
Really? That's too bad.

54
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,660
Because Maria and I were having the time
of our lives.

55
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:48,140
Ugh.

56
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,610
I wanted to show her that I thought she
had large boobies.

57
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,510
We even decided to buy magic mushrooms.

58
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,970
Neither one of us had tried shrooms
before, but I was confident I could

59
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:09,510
it. Maria, on the other hand, was
another story.

60
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:13,230
Let's just say that the shrooms
definitely worked on her.

61
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,520
To be honest, it got a little annoying.

62
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:29,560
Not because she was tripping out, but
because I wasn't feeling anything.

63
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I guess I was just too much man for the
shrooms.

64
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:37,640
There's nothing worse than being with
someone who's not in the same reality as

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00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,640
you.

66
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,900
I couldn't help but think of how awesome
it would be if Vanessa was with me in

67
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Amsterdam.

68
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,460
We could have had so much fun.

69
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,740
I never thought I'd be able to find love
like that again.

70
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,240
Then I felt something.

71
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,440
Turns out I wasn't the only one in
Amsterdam who was alone.

72
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:35,620
Fate brought them together.

73
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,060
She must be wealthy.

74
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,300
Gold earrings.

75
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,640
For the first time in my life, I met
someone who made me forget about

76
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I told her my name.

77
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,640
She told me hers was Ellie.

78
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,560
And with that, we went off together.

79
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,760
Listen, can we get back to this in a
little bit? I wasn't done with my shroom

80
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:10,760
story.

81
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:15,440
So, after five hours, the shroom started
to kick in.

82
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,120
At first, it felt weird.

83
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:21,920
Then it's scary.

84
00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,760
Then I just freaked out.

85
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,020
This apple tasted like a banana.

86
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:43,140
I drank a phone.

87
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,780
Maria tried to help, but there was no
use.

88
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,540
I needed to go outside to get some fresh
air.

89
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,580
Big mistake.

90
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,540
Everything was spinning.

91
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:01,660
My mind was melting.

92
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,580
It felt like the world was trying to
rape me.

93
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:06,580
I had to fight it off.

94
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:42,430
I swear to God she had a mustache.

95
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:59,930
After four hours, I finally came out of
the trip.

96
00:08:01,150 --> 00:08:03,250
Luckily, Maria was there to take care of
me.

97
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:05,190
God, I love that woman.

98
00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:08,510
Speaking of love, Ellie took me all over
Amsterdam.

99
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,120
We went to the finest museum.

100
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,900
We drank Heineken.

101
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:14,760
We ate cheese.

102
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,860
And we made out all over the city.

103
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:21,780
Was it like a game you were playing,
like let's make out at Landmark?

104
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,080
Yeah, we wanted to get all of them in.

105
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,060
It was like we were a married couple.

106
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,920
Why she vacuumed in the nude, I don't
know.

107
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,780
What I do know is that everybody should.

108
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:37,520
I was so used to seeing her tits all the
time.

109
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,510
The two of us had a lot of fun.

110
00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:42,010
She even taught me the true meaning of a
Dutch oven.

111
00:08:43,309 --> 00:08:45,510
It was then that I realized I couldn't
let her go.

112
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:50,070
Even though we only knew each other for
a day, it was enough for me to make the

113
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,070
biggest move of my life.

114
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:01,510
The next day, we all ran into each other
at the park.

115
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,920
I told Roldy that I wasn't going back to
Jersey and that my new plan was to

116
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,380
marry Ellie and live in Amsterdam for
the rest of my life.

117
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:09,820
I was shocked.

118
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,420
But like a good friend, I gave him my
blessing.

119
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,660
The wedding was small, but perfect.

120
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:19,580
I don't know about perfect. I don't
remember any hors d 'oeuvres. What was

121
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:20,580
with that weird priest?

122
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,780
He freaked me out.

123
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,600
After the wedding, I realized I'd
forgotten to do something important.

124
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,400
Have a bachelor party.

125
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,960
But I convinced the girls to let us have
one last night on the town.

126
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:37,960
It was great. We got drunk, we got high,
we ate awesome food with belly dancers.

127
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,860
And then we made the mistake of going to
a sex show.

128
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,100
What do you mean mistake?

129
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,880
I guess it was seeing that guy's balls
that sort of threw me off.

130
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,500
I thought it was a very artistic show.

131
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,880
The next day, Maria and I had to leave
to go back to Jersey.

132
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,620
Brody and I knew it would be a long time
until we saw each other again.

133
00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:01,470
Walking away, I was thinking about all
the fun times Kumar and I used to have.

134
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,750
Even though he always got me into
trouble, he was always there for me.

135
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,070
That was just last week.

136
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:13,970
It seems like four, five years ago.

137
00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:18,930
Who would have thought that finding true
love would mean the end of our

138
00:10:18,930 --> 00:10:19,930
friendship?

139
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,640
Goodbye, Harold.

140
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:52,620
Goodbye, Kumar.

141
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:58,260
While you were hugging me, I looked at
Maria's ass again.

142
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,220
Moment. Ruined.

143
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,520
Step done.

144
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,860
Nice job, douche.